Mama Day

Mama,

There'll never be a woman like you in my life.

I love you ma.

Bryan Stars



"A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive."

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Fucking River

Rivers shocked the Logies audience when she said "I don't know why the fuck I'm here.”
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How can a 72-year old woman make you laugh? She has to be Joan Rivers, period.

Half-sober Rivers presented an award at the Logies (the Australian equivalent of the Emmy Awards) and was unsurprisingly consistently herself.

She said “fuck” twice live on national TV, made fun of the Tom-Katie-Suri craze and chastised the Aussie people to “grow up”.

Joan Rivers was awarded with a complementary trophy, a pink one! [silver trophies are given to category winners while the the gold Logie is awarded to the most Popular TV personality of the year] After the co-presenter handed her the special Logie, there was a short applause from the dining crowd. And while delivering her “I’m-so-touched” line, she threw the pink monstrosity across her shoulder, the thing went rolling on the stage while Joan nonchalantly proceeded with her presenting duties.

Everyone went ape laughing.

Instead of reading out the nominees she stooped down to pick-up the trophy, waved it to everyone and announced that they can post a bid for it at E-bay the next day.

She then complained “it’s the most disgusting trophy I ever received”.

The whole thing was so hilarious I almost forgot about how blandly (a few of them—horrendously) dressed most of the Aussie TV stars were.

But I’ll be diplomatic and will keep the rest of my Logies 2006 red-carpet thoughts to myself. Papua New Guinea is still an Australian lair. This aint neutral ground!

What is life without comedy and ill-dressed stars?

Acts

My Bible-armed colleague ambushed me one I-hope-no-one-speaks-to-me Monday morning rubbing the pages of the Acts of the Apostles to my Nivea Pore Cleanser-nursed face.

The bigot ran out of Amens when I told her I’m as Christian as Hans Christian Anderson but I don’t subscribe to the story of the physical Resurrection of Christ.

This is but one of the personalities I deal with in my day in and out here in the betel nut capital of the world—Port Moresby!

Life’s a bitch!