"Seven Kinds of Filipinos You Meet in Port Moresby
1. The Pioneers.
Legend has it that they paddled their way to pre-independence Papua New Guinea fleeing the Imelda Inquisition.
This is the bunch I don’t know much about but ever so easy to spot in a crowd.
From the grannies with faux Australian accent and their SM-deprived offspring they’re almost always vexingly together anywhere they go thronging the ever few expatriate-safe locations in packs like a grade school fieldtrip.
2. Second Generation.
Like the Pioneers, they are ever present during them infamously banal June 12 Independence Day celebrations where you’ll die of boredom from the shitty appearances of minor over-sensationalized Pinoy celebrities, Bingo craps, Christmas whatnots and basketball blahs.
3. Cross Breeders.
For socio-economic reasons, they breed exclusively with Caucasians.
If there’s too much carats going on, that’s them.
4. The Entertainers.
Well, you see them in church every Sunday and at majong tables after mass.
Grace Adler once said, “I hate clowns. They think they’re so funny”.
Delete “clowns”. Insert “accountants”. Delete “funny”. Insert “smart”.
7. Then there’s this gang of five. You’ll live life regretfully if you never get to meet them.
Nothing extremely special about this party of five but they guarantee an experience second only to that feeling of orgasmic headboard-rocking coitus.
Ever genial and handy, they paint the town red onboard a green Mitsubishi."