Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Gasp

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,

Please write a check amounting to PhP 50,000,000.00 payable to me for the emotional stress caused by a photo posted on facebook of a place from my past. I am distraught that there is no prevent-photos-of-places-that-cause-nausea-inducing-nostalgia-to-appear-in- my-window application available in your networking site.


It stressed me out so much, I missed a party today. Meaning, I spent two hours of dress rehearsals for nothing. My friends can download at least four HQ one hour-long porn with that amount of time. I could have spent that two hours driving to SM Rosales for a takoyaki take away, stay inside the Giordano shop for 45 minutes to ogle at their handsome staff and on my way back drop by the palengke for a kilo of lansones.

I believe that this application should have been a priority of your company. This oversight on your part must be addressed immediately, hopefully over the next banking day (but if there’s a Western Union in Palo Alto, I believe they are open on Sundays).

Otherwise, please send a handsome shrink who’s a citizen of a country that allows gay marriage to come and see me.

Gasping still,

Bryan


For the last time, at least in writing, farewell port of Moresby.

9 Comments:

Gram Math said...

what is the name of the place on the pic?

Bryan Anthony said...

that's the royal papua new guinea yacht club...in Port moresby

Lyka Bergen said...

Pls lang! Asan ka na ba ngayon?

Momel said...

Pretty Please while wearing a sequined hot pink bra top will do you a whole heaven of good.

Cheers Bry!

Bryan Anthony said...

@lyka: andito sa SM Rosales! ahaha, baguio based ako now gurl!

Bryan Anthony said...

@mellie: fluorescent beige is the new hot pink! ahaha miss you gurl!

I am Xprosaic said...

Aahhh... i see...

Manech said...

It looks beautiful.

But I don't think I'm helping.

The shrink should definitely help. Hahaha. :D

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